Brave V Honest – the power to achieve no matter what.

I was thinking about what someone said about my honest post on social media about being lonely and how I fixed it.
They called me brave.
I thought about this.
It wasn’t brave to share.
Some would even call it over sharing!

What it was, was honest and transparent.

Brave is running into a burning building.
Brave is standing up to an abusive partner.
Brave is travelling to a worn torn land to save lives.

But what my post did do was open a door.
It welcomed you in.

Social media is so incredibly powerful, however you could read that statement and see that is a good thing and or a bad thing!

Social media is like so many things in life it is what we do with it that gives it its power.

You can swap out social media for communication…

Communication is like so many things in life it is what we do with it that gives it it’s power.

Or you can swap out the word communication for thoughts…

Thoughts are like so many things in life it is what we do with them that gives them their power.

When I share I aim to help you see that power.

Being lonely was a massive challenge that I found myself facing after my husband was very seriously ill and changed forever. It was like having the rug taken from under my feet. My perfect little world for 28 years was rattled.

We all face things in our life, it is down to what we believe is possible, our emotional intelligence, our skills and knowledge that we can overcome them. I’ve never been more grateful to be a qualified coach and mentor in the power of the brain. It meant with ease I could;

1. Assess the situation – without emotion taking over.
2. Cry, sob, swear, shout, get really angry (not an emotion I’m good at by nature) and feel the enormity of the situation – we often try to jump this one but by doing that you don’t create enough emotion to move forward. If you create powerful emotion and the below steps and the right level of commitment to the change it will happen. Really wallowing for the briefest minute in the depths of how hard it is (work, staff, health, relationships, money, happiness, whatever it is) you can move on faster.
3. Decide what you want. It’s obvious isn’t it? However most clients be it a team of staff, a business leader or a business owner they can tell me in depth what they don’t want. They can easily vocalise what’s hard work, but ask them to explain what they’d like instead and often it’s vague. Get really specific on this. Really see it. For me I visualise. I saw myself dancing on a Saturday night instead of sat with the dog reading a book. I saw myself putting a case in the car and heading out on roads untravelled – and wow I’ve travelled in the last year!
4. Accept it will happen. For many change is hard. For me I can easily see what I want and get it. I’ve coached and been coached for many years so my brain is pliable to the idea that I can get what I want and make it a reality. People like to overcomplicate this but it’s not that hard when you know how we think, how we revert to old habits and how to override to get what you want. So accepting the change is imperative.
5. Open your heart, mind and ears. We are often staring at the very thing we want oblivious to the fact that we can have it! That’s why I can often shift someone’s life/business/relationships/happiness/health fast, because I help people see what’s before them. You know the saying wood for the trees. Think of me as the one with the binoculars, map, fog horn and the big paint brush marking the X on the right tree! If opportunities seem to be nonexistent, go back to the first 4 steps and ask yourself what you aren’t doing? It is far more likely to be down to what you are thinking, believing, acting on and communicating. Shift those and you can start to see the opportunities.
6. Say yes. I know billionaires tell you to do this, and they are right. I have found myself sat at a train station many an occasion in the last year thinking “Mand, what are you doing???” I’m trusting the process and saying yes! And every time. Yes every time I’ve had a blast and had even more opportunities present themselves! Can you see how easily you can swap out making friends, for making money, selling in new territories, getting a pay rise or getting your staff to do what you want?
7. Spot the change. For me I noticed this weird noise. Oh right, it’s called laughing. Not the polite laughter at networking but that real from the heart laugh. I’d had years of very challenging things I had to deal with (Husband very very ill, Mum in law being abused – I got her safe, roof leaking, being robbed.) None of them mine but all landed on my lap to sort. I had years of having to go to hundreds of appointments and being restrained to what I could do, when and how. Coaching enabled me to stay sane throughout that time and not lose myself (which would have made this process even harder – please say you know and like who you are?)
8. When you spot the change, celebrate it! We are often so busy looking to get to our destination we fail to appreciate how far we’ve come. Celebrate the mini wins this gives your brain a little boost of feel good chemicals. And guess what? When you feel good you are more determined, positive, dedicated, productive – you can see how important that is right?
9. Enjoy it! Like most things in life, this is not a do it once and your life/work is perfect forever. Learn to enjoy learning, exploring who you are, understanding how you like to think/learn/achieve/overcome obstacles. When you do this the next time you set a a goal, you will be a head of the game!

If you benefited from this strategy or found areas challenging I’m an author, speaker and cheerleader that genuinely cares about every social media connection, every reader and every INsider or client forever. So get in touch and tell me more. I treat all conversations as confidential.